My son points out to me that the word extraordinary is a study in contradiction.  To look at the word itself you’d think it would mean extra ordinary, or really really average.  Ok, having said that, I still like the word and I like the way it sounds… “How extraordinary”, “There was an extraordinary turn of events.”  It’s something or someone above and beyond what we expect.

I’ve had the fortune to meet a few extraordinary people.  Extraordinary people are few and far between.  I’ve met incredibly talented people, smart people, funny people… but the extraordinary person is unique.  The characteristics of an extraordinary person are also very personal.  When we meet someone whom we think is remarkable, it is because they are embodying and doing all the things we wish we were doing.  The interesting thing about these people is that they aren’t remarkable because of some gift from god.  They are remarkable because they have chosen to be so.  These are the people who continually challenge themselves and commit to meeting their goals. Through a determined mindset and lots of hard work (and perhaps a little cosmic luck) they are able to accomplish an awful lot in a very short time.  They envision a life beyond what is average and will settle for nothing less.  Are you that type of person?

This blog is about considering new and extraordinary ways of designing our lives.   It’s about putting a seed into the universe, wishing on a star, daring to be remarkable.  Here are 10 characteristics that contribute to the extraordinary (much better than really really average.)

1. Listen more than you talk. Seriously, it’s amazing what will happen and what you’ll learn if you just stop the excessive stuff coming out of your mouth.  Sit back, relax and really listen to what people are trying to tell you.  When you find yourself alone, listen to the sound of silence.  You’ll learn a lot about others and about yourself. There was a story I heard once where two gentlemen were meeting for the first time at a party.  The first gentleman, upon introduction, spoke about his plans for the future, his artwork, his ambitions. The second gentlemen simply listened while the first man talked on and on.  At the end of the meeting, our boisterous gentleman remarked to an shared acquaintance  “What an extraordinary person that was.  He knew exactly what to say.”
2. Be polite. It goes without saying.  But there is much a gal or guy can do that goes beyond simply having good manners. It’s the extra step that makes people extraordinary.  Jackie Onassis would write people hand written thank you notes, followups and note cards.  That kind of thing makes an impression.
3. Don’t be a couch potato. Ok, I’m not going to tell you to stop watching TV completely.  For me, this would just be impossible.  I love to be able to relax with TV brain candy at the end of the night and I’m an avid CNN’er.  BUT… once in a while, turn that thing off.  I swear,  you will find yourself doing and thinking about all kinds of things you previously didn’t have time for.  Try it, just for a week and let me know how you make out.  I’ve also found that the absence of noise from the television makes for a much more relaxed and stress free environment.
4. Find new ways of doing things. Yup… think outside the box.  Instead of making up excuses why something can’t be done, figure out how it can be done.  I once remarked to my friend Balam that he “certainly thinks outside the box.”  Balam replied “Is there a box?”
5. Work hard and keep a hold of your goals. Hard work will never let you down. Striving to meet your goals requires more than a 40 hour work week.  Passion for something brings with it the sacrifice of weekends, holidays, and evenings off… but if you are going after your goals and pursuing a dream, it’s a labor of love.  I know people like Tim Ferriss embrace the 4 hour work week, but even Tim will tell you that “work” is something you don’t necessarily like to do.  Several months ago I was very sick with the flu.  Not being able to get out of bed, I had a lot of time to think.  In conceptualizing the things I wanted and the goals I had, I asked myself how badly did I really want these things?  Was it worth 20, 30, 40 more hours of effort per week?  Did I really have the desire and time to devote myself to these goals? Well, here’s the answer… I started this blog and bought a guitar.
6. Dare to break rules. You’re going to find an awful lot of people who will tell you why your goals or dreams shouldn’t, wouldn’t, won’t, or can’t come true.  Much like a stop sign, rules and limitations are put into place to control and divert traffic or make the masses conform.  Never mind them, show them they are wrong.
7. Be personally responsible. Everyone makes mistakes and if you make a mistake, buck up and admit it.  Apologize for it and try to fix it.  Extraordinary people don’t see themselves as victims in life’s game.  They take responsibility for their successes and their failures.  They create their own life path.  Start right now!
8. Travel and experience other cultures and places. I don’t think this is really a prerequisite of an extraordinary life like hard work or goal setting.  But to me, travel is really an element that enables us to bring something new to the table.  Visiting new venues and experiencing new foods, cultures and people expand our minds and feed our eyes.  Travel is inspirational.
9. Commit to what matters to you and rid yourself of what doesn’t. This means people, appointments, goals, junk and a myriad of others things.  Make a list and decide those people and things that matter most to you.  Get rid of everything else… including the toxic energy sucking people in your life.
10. Take the time to dream. Dreaming is nutrition for the creative mind.

Good luck!

Rock on!