Caravaggio - Super at Emmaus

I wanted to be a lawyer. Constitutional law, in fact.  So, in 1993 I went back to college as an adult with two small children at home and all the many responsibilities of a grown-up.  Attending college as an adult was certainly challenging. I remember saying “How much harder can this be than a full time job?”  Let me tell you…it was a lot harder.  I attended Middlesex Community College, in Middletown, Connecticut. I worked hard at my studies because like a bad credit report, I had to reinvent myself.  I had attempted college once before right out of high school and, rather than study, I found partying more to my liking.  My failure at college was, of course, documented on my transcript and my past worked against me.

I signed up for 4 courses a semester at Middlesex and lived, ate and breathed the liberal arts.  After my first year and a half of kicking butt, I received all A’s and I was admitted to the Honors Program, studying the likes of Dante, Shakespeare, and a course entitled “Knowledge” which incorporated study of all the great thinkers and philosophers.  It was exhilarating.  The fact that I was actually pulling off this ‘college thing’ was amazing to me…. You see for many years, through high school and college, I was told, “Lisa…you are just not college material.”  I was determined, now as an adult, to prove those people wrong.  I knew I had something to contribute… I wanted to be a lawyer and I knew I could be good at it. I graduated from the Honors Program at Middlesex with highest honors and set my sights on Trinity College in Hartford, Connecticut.  I loved learning.

Happily installed at Trinity, I made the one hour commute back and forth from my home to Hartford four times a week. I was so proud of myself… This little girl who had been told by her teachers for years that she was stupid now attended and was embraced at one of the nations best colleges.  I registered my major in political science, BUT…I had always wanted to take a class in art history.  I registered for Art History 101 with a professor named Mahoney.

The first day of class, I entered a darkened room. I remember the chairs being quite plush and the gentle hum of the air conditioner cooling the room on that warm September morning.  Professor Mahoney entered the room.  He was well dressed in a suit and a bow tie (or maybe an ascot) and carried a laser pointer.  I don’t remember the first slides on the wall that day, but as I sat in the dark, taking notes, I was quite unprepared for what would happen next.  There upon the wall was the next slide…a work by Michelangelo Merisi, otherwise known as Caravaggio. As my eyes met the image I remember emitting an audible sigh… It was more than a sigh.  All the air left my body.  My head got light and I experienced tunnel vision. Everything in that room disappeared except for me and Caravaggio. It was the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen.  The saturated colors of red, brown and green took my breath away.  The virtuosity of the artist and his command of his subject was something I could have looked at for the rest of my life without ever getting bored.  I learned about chiaroscuro, tenebrism and the Caravaggisti.  I was never the same.

In that moment, that one singular moment, gazing at Supper at Emmus….I was finished.  I had been bitten so hard by the art bug that I’d never even set foot in the class that taught political science. Art was what I had to do for my life. It was clear. No options. No exceptions.  It was what it was. The next week I interviewed with Professor Alden Gordon for entrance into the Art History program. “Why do you want entrance into the Art History program?” he asked me.

“Because there is an artist in my heart.”

“Then perhaps you should study studio arts.” Gordon replied.  But that was not for me.  Artists have the gift of creation.  My gift was that of appreciation.  My acceptance was granted and I ate the arts from that day to this one.  I’m sure I could have been an outstanding attorney but here I am…working with artists, writing about art and design…alas, a small fish in a very big sea.  But I am happy and would have it no other way.  Life indeed is full of small miracles and Caravaggio was one of mine.