There is an awful lot of talk about design for good. As designers and creatives we can volunteer our services to any number of worthy causes with the hope of making our world a better place. There are notable organizations such as Design for Democracy, Arts Advocacy, The Living Principles, Design Ignites Change and so many others. Additionally, much has been written and discussed about the unique thought processes of designers and artists, and how creatives can bring renewed and out-of-the-box problem solving to a number of issues for both private and public concerns. This is all good and true. I support Design for Good . . . but somewhere I think we are missing a link. Somewhere along the line, we have forgotten and neglected the essential elements within ourselves that are required before we can truly give to others. Stress has left it’s mark on all of us.
Years ago, I used to do my day planning and goal planning with the Franklin planner. It worked like magic. I’d set long term goals of 2-5 years, mid term goals 1-2 years and then immediate steps required to meet those goals. I was always fulfilled and proud when at the end of the 5 year term I found I had nailed my dreams. My life was clicking along at a pretty good pace. I was happy, healthy, traveling regularly. My kids were growing and happy. My business was booming and I felt fulfilled and excited about life. I had energy . . . energy that seemed boundless and an energy that inspired me to give to others.
These days the goal keeping part of my agenda doesn’t seem to be happening anymore. In fact, it doesn’t even seem to exist. I couldn’t tell you my goal for 2012 because frankly, I don’t have one. I spend my days drifting through life working on projects, going to openings, caring for my kids, fixing problems (always problems) with my house, writing for publication and breathlessly waiting for a holiday reprieve. Seasons turned into new seasons and before I knew it, 5 years have passed and I can’t tell you that I’ve accomplished anything that makes my heart skip a beat. It wasn’t because I gave up the Franklin Planner. It was because through all the daily fight to stay alive, raise my kids, work for clients, and pay the bills as a single mom, I neglected to hold true to my own dreams, aspirations, and interests.
We are pretty familiar with the old adage, “Take care of yourself or you won’t be able to take care of anyone or anything,” and yet I think most us completely disregard this notion. I know I certainly did. As a result I gained weight, lived a pretty sedentary life in front of my computer, stopped being able to travel and got really, REALLY stressed out. Just like the foundation of a house, if your own personal foundation isn’t solid pretty soon everything begins to break down and slide a little left of center.
A few weeks ago I got sick. It was a wake up call. I also noticed that many of my colleagues and friends were well . . . kind of breaking down too. I didn’t feel good. I didn’t look good. And I didn’t like hearing that my friends were suffering just as I was and in some cases even more.
Something had to be done. I felt like crap. So, I did something radical. I spontaneously took two weeks off. I called it a “me-cation”. I rested. I relaxed. I didn’t do a damn thing I didn’t want to do. I completely changed my eating habits and food choices. I read books about health, stress, and exercise. I’ve started doing yoga and exercises every morning. I sat in the sun, wore my sunglasses a lot and thought about what I wanted to do and what kind of person I wanted to be in the next 30 years of my life. I drank a spicy lemonade drink to cleanse my body of toxins. I went to visit my doctor and after about 8 days of calm and approximately 10 crying episodes, I began to feel better. But I knew things had to change. Soon, I felt like making plans again . . . but these plans were for me. I also discovered (and this was the really hard part) that doing so was not selfish or irresponsible. Living life in constant survival mode or stress isn’t living, my friends, and I think a lot of us are living in survival mode no matter how much we love our jobs and our families. We need to stop and take a look at our dreams and our lifestyles. We need to make some hard and realistic choices, and if we need a personal redesign . . . do it.
I am happy to report that I have again constituted a 2 year plan and a 5 year outlook. This makes me happy. This makes me feel like I’ve got great things to look forward to. If this type of goal planning is something that interests you, make sure that you include the many aspects of who you are and who you wish to become. Include all those little intermediary steps, the daily tasks, that are going to get you to your goal. Everyday make a point of doing something to design yourself. Most importantly . . . write it down. I have my goals written in my planner where I can access them every day. Include health goals, business goals, travel dreams, financial milestones, home and love. Envision what you want . . . invoke that out-side-the-box problem solving talent on your own behalf.
So I say to you, as designers, creatives, shakers and movers . . . maybe before we start embracing one hundred opportunities to reach out to others, to design and work for good, maybe we need to embrace and design ourselves first and foremost. Taking care of ourselves is going to give us the energy to take care of others. That’s definitely design for good. Good for you, and good for the world too.
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Suzi Craig
July 12, 2010
Thank you for sharing a very personal, yet highly relevant, story with all of us Lisa.
There are huge demands on everyone these days — and I am starting to see the value in reevaluating the demands in my life with a critical eye. Last year I stumbled onto the very famous quote by Marianne Williamson that (even though it’s too religious for my tastes), has been the center of how I’ve shifted my life.
It begins with this: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us . . .
And here is the rest: http://skdesigns.com/internet/articles/quotes/williamson/our_deepest_fear/
Thanks again Lisa. I now believe doing good begins with doing good for yourself, and it’s great to know I have company.
Pam
July 12, 2010
Very thought-provoking Lisa. Thank you.
Wendy McGee
July 11, 2010
I loved the post. Thanks for giving me the heads up. Thank gosh for Lexapro because I am not sure that I could make the 150 demands a day and surface without it!
John
July 10, 2010
I’ll try to be more assertive for me!
Thank you. I do have a conscience but it neglects me.
Me!
Todd
July 9, 2010
Awesome post, I love it and you are SO right!
Lisa
July 8, 2010
Hey Faith, Well I don’t quite know what to say. On the one hand I’m so moved that my writing touched you. One the other hand, I didn’t mean to make you cry. But perhaps a certain amount of crying and soul searching is required. It’s never easy but It lets us know something is amiss or maybe in some ways it actually opens our eyes. As I said in the post, I had about 10 crying episodes myself and I don’t think I’m done yet but I’m making remarkable strides in what I think is the right direction. You will too.
Faith
July 8, 2010
I noticed on Facebook that Bonnie had commented on your article, because I think she’s a smart woman and you are as well I read it. It made me cry because it nails my world right on the head. I’m glad as hell that you did something to make the change…my change is coming soon and I can’t wait to grab life again and start moving. The past ten years have taken their toll on me and I’m ready to spread my wings and enjoy MY life again.
Lisa
July 8, 2010
Rob, That’s exactly what I’m talking about. I guess the eye-opener for me was that I ignored all the signs until I was completely spent. Don’t let that happen to you, my friend. Take time to dream and make those dreams come true! Even if it’s just baby steps . . . You can do it and you’ll be so happy once you do.
Heidi, Thanks so much for your comment. Let me know how you make out.
Rob
July 8, 2010
Some of the wisest advice I’ve heard in awhile. I guess for me, though, it’s finding the time for me. Bewteen the kids, the house, the spouse and making the bills, it’s hard to find time to focus. But at least you’ve inspired me to think about it, and for that I’m grateful.
Heidi Wirth
July 8, 2010
So true. It sounds like the me-cation worked to help re-evaluate and re-prioritize. Thank you for the inspiration. I hope to see clearly again and design for good!