We all have bad days and we all have sad days. But some days can be just insurmountable. These are the moments in our lives when our hearts have been not just broken, but shattered.
Friends and family may try to encourage you to shake off your sadness. “Distract yourself,” they say. “Come out and drink with us,” they say. I am here to tell you that on the saddest day of your life, this is bad advice. Do not distract yourself. Embrace your sadness. Acknowledge it and process it, for if you don’t it may well come back to haunt you in the future and nobody wants that.
Your sadness may come from the end of a relationship, a betrayal, a loss, an event, or something completely unique to you. But, this is an opportunity for some major self awareness work. And I promise you, there will be a day very soon when you notice, that by some miracle, the clouds have cleared and you will see there is hope and light in your future.Read More»
Whoever said that meditation will bring you bliss was full of shit. For the last year or so, I have embarked on a quest for self awareness. I’ve found that breathing exercises can release stress, relieve anxiety, clear one’s mind, and calm the soul. Yoga has released knots and bundles of tight muscles in my body, increased my flexibility, and provided peace.
But the quest for self awareness, if done properly, is anything but blissful. Breakthroughs and epiphanies bring forth a lot of painful memories long ago repressed. New insights and awareness regarding not only yourself but those closest to you can be heartbreaking. Not always is what you learn through your study of mediation going to be peace, love, and tie-dye. In fact, I can tell you … it’s often very unpleasant.Read More»
Tasks on a To-Do list can grow like the snakes on Medusa’s head. No one likes a To-Do list and yet we make them in attempt to keep our lives and our goals on track. But the thing about the To-Do list is that is becomes rather counter-productive as you check one item off and add four more. We begin to get the sense that, despite our best intentions, these lists don’t benefit us in any way except to remind us of how much we have to do and mostly how much we haven’t done.
Several years ago I wrote a post which suggested replacing the To-Do list with something that I considered a better idea – a Done list. That post received quite a nice reception so I thought I’d share the idea here again but with some refinements.Read More»
I am feeling absolutely non-inspired today. Yup, it happens. Every artist, writer, designer and creative person at some point has days (hopefully not too many) of complete and utter dysfunction. Perhaps, in my case, it is because today is Monday and after a weekend of activity, I need the day to regroup. I scan my apartment and see that there are a hundred pounds of laundry needing care, plants that are screaming for my attention, and I have a ToDo list which is making me anxious. I’m wanting to read too many books, share too many thoughts, and achieve too many things. It’s hard to sit and write when such distractions loom huge.Read More»
An open letter to my international friends and associates,
It is sometimes a surreal experience seeing the US from an outside perspective. Living now in Sweden, as an American citizen, I consume a huge amount of news from many resources. Many of them from the United States such as The New York Times, The Atlantic, PBS, NPR, Washington Post, Vox and others. I also consume a great deal of news from International resources – Associated Press, Reuters, RT, Al Jazeera, BBC, The Guardian, Göteborg Posten, SvD, and others.
Every morning I sit with the US and International news. And every morning for the last several months, I start my day in a state of complete disbelief, anxiety, and astonishment. I feel embarrassed, and not just a little freaked out, by the implications these headlines are having on our international friends. I am, of course, writing about the 2016 presidential election coverage and its Republican nominee.Read More»
Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare. – Audre Lorde
It really wasn’t as dramatic as “political warfare” – then again in today’s political and socioeconomic environment, maybe it is – but when I first read Audre Lorde’s quote I immediately felt empowered. I felt like jumping up and shouting “Yes, by god, that’s right!”
You see, for years I took care of myself – always dressed well, loved designer shoes and handbags, adored bubble baths – but it wasn’t until just recently that I discovered that the idea of taking care of one’s self, in terms of being fit, fashionable and clean was very different from actually “caring for one’s self”. I believe what Lorde is talking about goes way beyond simply bathing every day and working out.Read More»