Meditation bliss is crap

Whoever said that meditation will bring you bliss was full of shit. For the last year or so, I have embarked on a quest for self awareness. I’ve found that breathing exercises can release stress, relieve anxiety, clear one’s mind, and calm the soul. Yoga has released knots and bundles of tight muscles in my body, increased my flexibility, and provided peace.

But the quest for self awareness, if done properly, is anything but blissful. Breakthroughs and epiphanies bring forth a lot of painful memories long ago repressed. New insights and awareness regarding not only yourself but those closest to you can be heartbreaking. Not always is what you learn through your study of mediation going to be peace, love, and tie-dye. In fact, I can tell you … it’s often very unpleasant.

Indeed, you have had a breakthrough and you are now a new person, much more aware and seeing your life and the world with new eyes. You are working your way toward a better, more authentic self. You are told, and you believe, that this new found awareness is a good thing and yes … now, you can work to remedy and repair and address that new-found knowledge. This is an opportunity to heal.

You are believing “Yes, I have found some answers. Let’s march onward soldier”. And then you sit with this new found knowledge for a bit, and find yourself … devastatingly sad beyond belief. Your world is not what is was before, and by god, it might not have been wonderful back then, but it was comfortable. You knew the parameters and now suddenly, there are a whole new set of rules that pertain to YOU.

So what’s a person to do? You certainly can’t go back to the old you because that new knowledge can’t be unlearned. Here are a couple of ideas that will hopefully get you, and me, over the hump.

• Be very kind to yourself: In your next meditations hug that scared inner child. God knows, she/he needs it. Pamper and care for your immediate self. Bubble baths, salt baths, walks in nature, read fiction, stay at home under the covers for a day, watch TV. Do whatever it is you need to do to self soothe. Having said that … I don’t recommend diving into the realm of drugs and alcohol. Nothing good will come of that, I promise you. Stay sober. Embrace the suck. Eat well. Drink a lot of water.
• Be with friends. Talk to them. Tell them what you have gone through. Gain support. Accept hugs. Buy a friend a flower.
• Do something creative. Write it out. Paint it out. Pick up your sad self and express what’s inside.
• Go to sleep. You have just gone through a trauma. Sleep will help you repair.
• Process. It’s tempting to disregard all that you learned, but take the time to be quiet. Process what you’ve learned and sit with it. The worst is over.

I guess the most important thing is to not give up. This too shall pass and soon you will find yourself in a better place to deal with what meditation has taught you. You will move forward. You will find clarity. You will take action. You will heal … until the next meditation delivers its next batch of crap. So prepare.