Failure to protect

Once when I was in Gothenburg, I was abandoned on the street at one o’clock in the morning by my fiancé. The buses and trams stopped running that late at night and so while he jumped into a cab to get home, he left me behind. On purpose.

He was angry at me. I don’t know why, I rarely knew why. Maybe he had gotten embarrassed that evening or a comment was made by someone that he didn’t like, and as usual the anger and punishment was dealt to me.

I didn’t have the money to take a cab home myself. So when he phoned me from his ride, I asked him if he would he pay the fare for me when I got home. He told me to walk. He wasn’t going to pay two fares. 

That was a shocking event because that was when I realized that my fiancé, the guy who was suppose to love me, not only didn’t have my back but he had actually put me in a dangerous situation. He abandoned me on a city street in the middle of night with no way home. If he would put me in danger once, chances were good he’d do it again. I should have left him the very next day, but hindsight is always 20-20.

I bring up this event because the Kavanaugh hearings are triggering rapid fire memories for me. And it seems to me that these two situations are quite similar. Much like my fiancé, not only is our government not caring about women’s safety, concerns or rights, they are actively encouraging the degradation of women’s safety. This is not OK. This is not what a government should be doing to its citizens.

It has been repeated over and over that the GOP is catering to “their base” and make no mistake their base is learning. A cold blatant disrespect for women has been shown to be acceptable and applauded. Don’t listen to women, in fact, ridicule and mock them. Don’t worry about rape and sexual harassment, in fact, go right ahead and help your self to their bodies – There will be no repercussions or accountability. Seriously, the guy might even get a promotion out of it.

On Wednesday I went to 7-Eleven to buy a copy of the New York Times. You know, the issue where Trump’s finances were reported on no less than seven pages of copy. It was the longest article the NY Times had ever written. It was to be comprehensive and precise. I wanted that hard copy.

As I was waiting in line at the cash register, a man elbowed his way in front of me. He told me “back up lady, I’m next in line.” Well, words were spoken and I can tell you there was no way in hell I was going to back down. He told me straight out that he didn’t need to worry about manners or societal norms because I was “an entitled white bitch”. Who the hell did I think I was? Voicing my anger at his behavior meant that, as he told me, I was “rude”. He felt perfectly fine, and justified, in pushing me out of the way to serve himself. A scene ensued, the manager was called, and later I left the store wondering if that belligerent asshole was going to follow me home or perhaps shoot me in the street.

Our government today is sending a message to all of us – women don’t matter. If you think that the statistics on abuse towards women are bad now, just wait. They are most certainly going to increase. They will increase because our government has given the message that it’s ok to do so.

Lisa Mikulski is a freelance writer and photographer based in Boston, MA. Available for print or online publications. Editorial, features, content development, and creative. She is presently working on her first memoir.